How is your love life?

[AJ the Ass Slayer]

Uh...one of the only things I agreed with in my CLE class...

..."Any season of singleness is a gift from God."

[Blessed Devil]

[This reply is made 4 months after that last post]

Wow, you guys never talk about your love lives anymore. Wanna know about mine?

I'm sort of having difficulties. You see, during the school days, I remembered how she got out of the "getting mad at me for every single little detail of everything I do" phase. It gave me a magical feeling. The sort of feeling you get when, say, you always dreamed of having sex but couldn't find any girl, and then, after a long time, someone FINALLY wants to sleep with you.

But then summer came. This summer she started going back into that phase. It's turned into a nightmare for me. And then, I lost that understanding, humble, submissive characteristic I used to have back when she first had that phase. I think it's only natural for me to lose it like that, isn't it? I mean, what if you experienced sex for the first time, and then you were told that you can never do it again for the rest of your life? It would most certainly frustrate you. And this time, I started biting back at her.

And then, one day we had a fight at a time we were chatting in YM. A petty fight, but it was during this fight that all the anger contained in me finally burst out. I was teeth-grindingly angry. She went offline, and if she could slam the door while going offline, she would. I went offline as well, and insisted on staying offline even after she signed back in. And then, she e-mailed me. She told me that I had changed. She told me that she felt I was a stranger. She said I wasn't always like this. She said that it might be best for her to stay away from me for a little while. And I don't blame her for that.

She didn't stay away from me, really. But after a while, we were okay with each other again. But that e-mail dealt a huge blow on me. I'm still left here unsure of the right thing to do. Should I keep up being the submissive, understanding gentleman? Or should I make a stand and start defending myself?

Because her anger isn't really that unfounded and petty. Sometimes it really is deep. But there are just these times when I feel that it's petty, and there are some times when she just doesn't listen to me.

[J e e c o .]

Oh wow. I guess no love life can really be perfect, huh?

I think it's better to just be the way you are when around her. I mean, sure it's nice and special if you are submissive and understanding and all that, but it's not you. In the end, you'll just keep bottling up all those things you truly feel, and well...is that the case? O:

Anyway, yeah. Sometimes it's frustrating to know that the one you love is being someone else, just not to hurt you. It's like he's saying, "I can't be me because I don't want you to get hurt, but if I put on a mask it'll all be better" or something. I'm not saying this on personal experience, though- because at this young age I really still don't get the true aspects of love in reality (since I'm ALWAYS stuck up in some pairing's affair anyway) but still. I know. Because I have my ways and if you find out from which pairing I got this from you'd think I'm just bitching around and not being serious, and it's not true. No.

So yeah. I guess you should stop letting her dominate you. I mean, you shouldn't let the reason that she's your girlfriend and you love her rule over the blessed devil beneath (naks...). And maybe she's noticing it, and she doesn't like all the attention and the respect, because couples are supposed to be equal with nobody constantly winning over the other. And maybe that's what you're doing.

Because I believe, when you love someone, getting hurt doesn't matter. But you don't belong to only yourself, and if you really think about it, none of you wants the other to get hurt in the end. SO GET HURT TOGETHER. She's going to have to deal with you not always following her every request all the time, and you're going to have to deal with retorting every once in a while. Well, with respect and love and all due faithfullness, of course.

So even if I am inexperienced, I guess I do know a thing or two. XD

Unless that didn't help. D:

[AJ the Ass Slayer]

BD, I honestly believe that you should stand up for yourself. I mean, she's saying that you've changed, but has she stopped to notice the changes in her?

Your anger is a reaction to her's. There's only so much patience you can have, and she needs to understand that. Most girls think, "Our boyfriends need to adapt for us!" It's part of the 'men have to please women' mentality. I think we need to toss that out the window.

BD, you can't just keep stepping aside and being submissive. Not only will you spoil her, but eventually, all your pent up anger will build up and you will explode. Besides, and I always emphasize this, in relationships, both partners must give and take. You can't always be the one bending backwards for her. Besides, if you don't tell her, then you'd be lying. Do you really want your relationship to be founded on lies?

Wait...

...you had sex? When did this happen?O.O

[Blessed Devil]

Okay, I'm going to follow your advices and I'm going to stop trying to be the understanding, kind, perfect, dreamy gentleman that every girl wishes they had. You're right, AJ, I think we need to be clear on the 'men have to please women' mentality.

The sex part wasn't literal. It was an analogy. Was I unclear about it?

But of course, I'm not going to tell you whether I did it or not.

And now I'm off to my next quest: Finding out how to tell her that we need to see each other as equals, and not "man and woman."

[AJ the Ass Slayer]

I'm so lucky I found that easy to explain to Marvin...I hated it when he was being such a pussy. I don't like my men whipped.