Post by Blessed Devil on Jul 5, 2007 20:18:29 GMT 7
A/N: You guys remember this shit? It's about me and Danilyn. You know. Just in case you wanted to read it again.
The Story Behind the username
Over the course of life, I realize that things hadn't gone at all the way I planned them. I realize that I am a completely different person from what I was sought out to be.
I always liked to call myself "Blessed" back then. Partly because it was my username in anything online, and partly because of this girl named Danilyn. She wasn't my classmate. Not even my schoolmate. But because of her, I always felt blessed. Whenever I had problems, all I needed to do was to call her, and we both would smile even to the point that our cheeks hurt and we were forcing ourselves to frown, but couldn't do it. I didn't even need to tell her about my problem, because purely her presence made me happier than anything else can make me happy.
I was the opposite of what I am today. I was almost the happiest man in the world. I spent my school days class-clowning, and spent my days in older forums acting like a rabid fanboy of stuff. Anyways, I had everything. 2nd year high school was definitely the best year of my life. Great section. Good classmates. Good luck. Danilyn. They all molded me into the nicest person I can ever be.
And a lot of months, me and Danilyn were together. We faced problems. We moved mountains. I was a very fluffy person. Almost all my "firsts" were with her. First love. First date....
On last year's Valentine's Day, we went to watch a movie. As we were watching I held her ever smooth hand so dearly and put on her finger my gift for Valentine's. A ring. And I thought I gave her an extremely good gift. She had something better for me. When the movie was about to end, she pulled me by the arm and kissed me on the cheek. And I kissed her back. So she was also my first kiss.
She had a friend named "Alvin". One time when she was being really lonely for like...almost a week, and wouldn't tell me what her problem was, I practically cried my eyes out begging her to smile. And I was all "Leave me if you want! Go be in love with someone like...Alvin if that's what makes you happy! Just smile!"
I meant every word, goddammit. If she couldn't be happy with me, why not let her go? It was the first time I realized how important a smile was. It was when I realized that I'd rather spend my life with the person who isn't devoted much to me but happy rather than the person who loves me but is always crying. She was really touched about that. Little did I know that the speech had more meaning than I assumed.
She became a little happier. Though not as much as before, but at least I got to see her smile again.
A few days later, she learned that this Alvin loved her. And after all that she and I went through, you'd think that she would ignore this, right? I mean, she does love me, right?
Wrong. She threw away everything. Like it was some food too hot for her tongue. Yup. She was in love with Alvin. She told me that over the phone. And how did I take it? I dropped the phone. No words. No questions. I dropped the f**king phone. And I ran to my room and cried like a f**king girl.
And did you think I resented her? NO! I still considered her as my friend. She still considered me as a friend. I still talked to her. I still laughed with her. I still loved her. Only this time, it was like I was thrown into a completely different void. Even though it was like she and I were never in love, and even though we were still cool, I found myself walking through the hallways of school looking around. Like I was new to this world. And I remember the first thing that came into my mind.
"So this is what the world is like without Danilyn's love..."
I've had that really empty feeling that just kept haunting me for one whole month. The jolly “blessed” guy was gone. He was replaced with the angsty, whiny devil. I started to think about a lot of things. There were so many things I could've done to change things. I was really sorry for myself. I wanted to think. I wanted to know what to do next time. I started thinking about everything in life. What could I have done to prevent this?
First love really isn't meant to last. But it changes you in a way that affects you forever.
And you thought that was the end of the tragedy. No. Because whenever Danilyn and Alvin would have an "argument" and not talk to each other, I'm the person she would turn to. Maybe she wanted it to seem like she was being nice, but she was flirting with me again. And the worst part is, I was falling for it. I couldn't do this anymore. With all my willpower, I restrained myself from saying "I still love you" and just halted all forms of communications with her. I didn't even tell her the reason. All she knows is that I don't talk to her anymore.
What was it they said? "If you love someone, let her go. If she really was meant for you, she'd come back."
For me, that's a load of bullshit. If you love something, keep it close. Never let it go, or it'll slip away. I didn't keep Danilyn close enough, so she slipped off to Alvin.
Protect something, love something, treat it well, and it will never have a reason to leave you.
Remember that.
The Story Behind the username
Over the course of life, I realize that things hadn't gone at all the way I planned them. I realize that I am a completely different person from what I was sought out to be.
I always liked to call myself "Blessed" back then. Partly because it was my username in anything online, and partly because of this girl named Danilyn. She wasn't my classmate. Not even my schoolmate. But because of her, I always felt blessed. Whenever I had problems, all I needed to do was to call her, and we both would smile even to the point that our cheeks hurt and we were forcing ourselves to frown, but couldn't do it. I didn't even need to tell her about my problem, because purely her presence made me happier than anything else can make me happy.
I was the opposite of what I am today. I was almost the happiest man in the world. I spent my school days class-clowning, and spent my days in older forums acting like a rabid fanboy of stuff. Anyways, I had everything. 2nd year high school was definitely the best year of my life. Great section. Good classmates. Good luck. Danilyn. They all molded me into the nicest person I can ever be.
And a lot of months, me and Danilyn were together. We faced problems. We moved mountains. I was a very fluffy person. Almost all my "firsts" were with her. First love. First date....
On last year's Valentine's Day, we went to watch a movie. As we were watching I held her ever smooth hand so dearly and put on her finger my gift for Valentine's. A ring. And I thought I gave her an extremely good gift. She had something better for me. When the movie was about to end, she pulled me by the arm and kissed me on the cheek. And I kissed her back. So she was also my first kiss.
She had a friend named "Alvin". One time when she was being really lonely for like...almost a week, and wouldn't tell me what her problem was, I practically cried my eyes out begging her to smile. And I was all "Leave me if you want! Go be in love with someone like...Alvin if that's what makes you happy! Just smile!"
I meant every word, goddammit. If she couldn't be happy with me, why not let her go? It was the first time I realized how important a smile was. It was when I realized that I'd rather spend my life with the person who isn't devoted much to me but happy rather than the person who loves me but is always crying. She was really touched about that. Little did I know that the speech had more meaning than I assumed.
She became a little happier. Though not as much as before, but at least I got to see her smile again.
A few days later, she learned that this Alvin loved her. And after all that she and I went through, you'd think that she would ignore this, right? I mean, she does love me, right?
Wrong. She threw away everything. Like it was some food too hot for her tongue. Yup. She was in love with Alvin. She told me that over the phone. And how did I take it? I dropped the phone. No words. No questions. I dropped the f**king phone. And I ran to my room and cried like a f**king girl.
And did you think I resented her? NO! I still considered her as my friend. She still considered me as a friend. I still talked to her. I still laughed with her. I still loved her. Only this time, it was like I was thrown into a completely different void. Even though it was like she and I were never in love, and even though we were still cool, I found myself walking through the hallways of school looking around. Like I was new to this world. And I remember the first thing that came into my mind.
"So this is what the world is like without Danilyn's love..."
I've had that really empty feeling that just kept haunting me for one whole month. The jolly “blessed” guy was gone. He was replaced with the angsty, whiny devil. I started to think about a lot of things. There were so many things I could've done to change things. I was really sorry for myself. I wanted to think. I wanted to know what to do next time. I started thinking about everything in life. What could I have done to prevent this?
First love really isn't meant to last. But it changes you in a way that affects you forever.
And you thought that was the end of the tragedy. No. Because whenever Danilyn and Alvin would have an "argument" and not talk to each other, I'm the person she would turn to. Maybe she wanted it to seem like she was being nice, but she was flirting with me again. And the worst part is, I was falling for it. I couldn't do this anymore. With all my willpower, I restrained myself from saying "I still love you" and just halted all forms of communications with her. I didn't even tell her the reason. All she knows is that I don't talk to her anymore.
What was it they said? "If you love someone, let her go. If she really was meant for you, she'd come back."
For me, that's a load of bullshit. If you love something, keep it close. Never let it go, or it'll slip away. I didn't keep Danilyn close enough, so she slipped off to Alvin.
Protect something, love something, treat it well, and it will never have a reason to leave you.
Remember that.
