Post by Blessed Devil on Jan 9, 2010 17:44:01 GMT 7
Copypasta from 4chan. 
Old Testament:
God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple or GTFO" (cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the apple and then she and her fuck buddy Adam get banned from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occur and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowing the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.
New Testament:
God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some child porn.
Later, Jesus became a hardcore ska punk and trolled the Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everyone listened to Paul anyways because they're stupid.
Old Testament:
God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple or GTFO" (cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the apple and then she and her fuck buddy Adam get banned from Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious fucking incest occur and we get the human race (which explains a lot, really).
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowing the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.
New Testament:
God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some child porn.
Later, Jesus became a hardcore ska punk and trolled the Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everyone listened to Paul anyways because they're stupid.
